Turbo Kick Boxing
I’m fairly certain that women were not the creative genius behind many things.
Two that come to mind are the public bathrooms and Turbo Kick Boxing.
I mean, seriously! Bathrooms for women should always have more than 2 stalls and lots of space for waiting. Need I say anymore on this subject?
Didn’t think so.
Issue #2 Turbo Kick Boxing:
Well, I should clarify. It’s not that I don’t think a woman created this exercise class. Frankly I don’t know. I just don’t think that a woman who gave birth vaginally, and then nursed a child created Turbo Kick Boxing.
I came to this realization on about minute 27 of my hour-long trial Turbo Kick Boxing class Thursday night. It came just as the cute perky thang, who was no older than 20, with rhythm to die for, shouted out a new combo of jumps, kicks, punches and jacks.
Jacks.
As in jumping jacks.
Twenty seven minutes into this workout I, who has about as much rhythm as Elaine from Seinfeld, am trying desperately to keep up with CPT (cute, perky thang) and falling short of the mark in oh so many ways.
Insert the jumping jacks.
I know jumping jacks! Now this is a combo I can do.
My confidence begins to grow. I’m feeling the anticipation of success leading up the the jack.…
Kick, Punch, Punch, annnnnd Jack.
Annnnd I pee.
Right there in the middle of class my muscles fail me and oops! out comes pee.
Lessons I learned that night were many.
First. Do not do jumping jacks without wearing some sort of, ahem, protection down there.
Second. Nursed-out breasts flop, while doing kicks and jacks, no mater their size.
Third. Turbo Kick Boxing is a cruel, cruel joke played on post-birth/nursing moms.
Fourth. I have no rhythm. This lesson was learned years ago, just reiterated Thursday.
Fifth. This form of exercise should really be renamed Turbo Kick My A$$.
Sixth. I think I’ll stick to the elliptical machine.
This was cross-posted at Silicon Valley Moms Blog on Saturday.
Cash's Mom said,
February 11, 2008 @ 8:55 am
I love it!! HA HA HA!!!
Lia said,
February 11, 2008 @ 8:58 am
It has taken me months of going to aerobics to not pee myself. I have only had one so I can’t imagine what it will be like after 2! UGH!
Lia’s last blog post..Friends, Parties and Mickey, OH MY!
Jennifer said,
February 11, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
I’m sorry I’m laughing. I can’t help it. Also, I can’t help peeing myself, either.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Rookie Parenting Mistakes
Jamie Dockiewicz said,
February 11, 2008 @ 6:58 pm
You are so funny! I died laughing reading your post today because it couldn’t be more true. You have such a way of capturing reality with such a great sense of humor.
jen said,
February 27, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
This is all too true. I had this problem before kids (doc says it is a physical construction of my body — oh joy) and now it is only worse after 3 kids. Needless to say Jane Fonda and Denise Austin were NEVER my friends.
So funny.
jen’s last blog post..She Blogs Hard for the Money