The, the new Duh
In our house we outlaw words as often as we changed our underwear… almost every day.
The basics have been banned. You know, “What the hell” and “Damn it”. Even “Shit,” and “Oh my God!” are out.
But DAMage…not out. As passionately as BC tells me that it IS a bad word, I just don’t buy it. Yup, DAMage gets to stay.
Ya, we’re awful parents like that!
You know, the fact that our kids even know those phrases is a whole other topic that I probably shouldn’t get into today.
Ahem. But I digress.
“Shut up” and “Stupid” are crowd favorites here in the Bay Area.
But in our house? Yup. BANNED.
Poopyhead, MeanyPoopyHead, HeadyHeadyPoopyHead.
TOSSED like last night’s cookies.
A recent crowd favorite, “Goober.” GONE.
“What the HELL??” You might ask.
I know! Goober, of all words?
It was cute and all until BC got a timeout at the gym for shouting , “You’re such a goober!!” at a sweet little girl, promptly hurting her feelings.
OUT.
But the word that’s crept into our family’s mainstream vocabulary as quickly as my kids’ nails grow is DUH.
It was funny, like twice, which is precisely the reason that persistent little bugger has stuck around so long.
It’s always a solidifier when Mommy laughs her head off at her darling kids’ inappropriate behavior.
I’m not saying I DID that…but if I were to have been such a STUPID mommy, it might explain why my kids are so attached THAT word.
Hypothetical, of course.
Ahem.
Anyway, DUH is GONE. OUT. BYE BYE. Never to be heard from again.
…Until one day when I asked BC to put something on the sink.
“I already did that Mommy!! THE”
Excuse me??
THE??
As in DUH??
You gotta be kidding me!!??
So now I’m considering dumping one more word from our everyday life.
The.
But how can I get by without my the? It’s a handy stand by when I’m trying talk about THE situation at hand. Or when THE playroom is a mess and when I’ve asked my kids to clean it for THE eighteenth time.
X-ing out THE can really F*CK things up around here.
Wait. No, scratch that last sentence. F*UCK is automatically placed on the BANNED list of family life.
But you already knew that, didn’t you.…THE!!
Michelle said,
June 25, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
Totally cracks me up. All those words… banned at my house too. You are not alone. Though in my house… “O! KAY! MOMMY” is also banned. It’s all in the tone… and man, sometimes I just see myself saying it as it’s coming out of his mouth. Boy am I a dumb mommy!
Michelle’s last blog post..Was I just complimented or dissed?
Momma Zookeeper said,
June 26, 2008 @ 9:42 pm
So funny! At lunch yesterday, Kat responded to something I said with, “Mommy, you’re a smart ass!” So we too had to re visit the banned list. It’s always flippin something!
Momma Zookeeper’s last blog post..recycling was only the gateway drug
Uncle Mike said,
June 27, 2008 @ 11:32 am
Listen young lady, don’t even think those words let alone type them on you website. I might have to come over and reindoctrinate you. Uncle Mike
bananas said,
July 6, 2008 @ 6:24 pm
Hilarious.
And slightly terrifying. I fear the time outs I’d receive if you ever came to my house!
bananas’s last blog post..Some very important moral and social issues brought to you by WALL-E