Smiling Mom

I had three dif­fe­rent posts I was mulling around in my head today when I tur­ned on an saved epi­sode of Date­line NBC. The topic was Brea­king and Ente­ring and how easy it is for a cri­mi­nal to come into your life and take your things. Doing all that with onloo­kers and neigh­bors who are com­pla­cent, con­fu­sed, or just watch the crime hap­pen but don’t call the cops.

I wasn’t really watching, but more lis­te­ning. I’ve been pre­pa­ring for a big party I’m having for Hubby tomo­rrow. But I lis­te­ned as the pro­gram went through a seg­ment where man bla­tantly steals a car in broad day­light, using a brick, golf clubs, etc. to smash the driver’s side win­dow, while no one calls the police.

The next seg­ment he breaks into a house, tells the neigh­bors exactly what he was doing while they do nothing.… Pretty crazy, but not all too sur­pri­sing to me since we most of us live in a world now a days where we are so detached from our neigh­bors and community.

The last seg­ment fea­tu­red the same man, Wild Bill, a con­sul­tant for Date­line, with the per­mis­sion of the children’s parents. He approached groups of kids, and attemp­ted to iso­late one of them by gai­ning the child’s trust with his puppy.

It was an inte­res­ting seg­ment. He approached a group of girls, ages 8–12, and gave two of the three of them a CD and told the other one that he had one more in the car and he’d get it for her. This con­ver­sa­tion took place after he allo­wing the girls to play with his puppy for awhile. The one girl without the CD, refu­sed to go. Saying, “I don’t need one, thanks. We’re going to go play now.” and she and the other two girls left the scene.

My reac­tion was, “Ya, you go girl!” Then Wild Bill did the same thing with another group of girls, with the same reac­tion. The girls refu­sed to sepa­rate and got spoo­ked by him and left.

A simi­lar expe­ri­ment was done with a group of boys pla­ying in their cul da sac. Wild Bill easily iso­la­ted one boy and had him lean over the trunk of his car to help him get something out. It would have been so easy for the little boy to have been taken.

Finally they did the expe­ri­ment on a 12 year old girl who was ins­truc­ted to watch her 5 year old brother in the front yard while mom pre­pa­red din­ner. The girl wouldn’t get anywhere near the man, and when he asked for her help, she told him no and imme­dia­tely said she their mom wan­ted her to do something inside. She “remin­ded” the 5 year old brother, grab­bed him by the shirt and took him inside.

At this point I was sob­bing. I’ve watched these “abduc­tion” shows a hun­dred times. I’ve seen it all before. But this time, it struck me so dif­fe­rently. I ima­gi­ned being a parent inside the house watching my son lean over the trunk of that man’s car. I ima­gi­ned my daugh­ter being put in that situa­tion with a stran­ger. The fear of loo­sing my babies is so huge. To think that peo­ple are evil enough to hurt kids, is almost incom­prehen­si­ble to me.

The psycho­lo­gist on the pro­gram said that it didn’t sur­prise her that the girls refu­sed to go along with the pro­gram and that some boys did go along with it. Her rea­son was that in our society it is loo­ked down upon for a boy to show any fear, while there is no social stigma attached to girls sho­wing fear. Hence the out­come of this experiment.

I’m a mom. Moms have this very strong desire to pro­tect their own. Something inside us chan­ges when we have that first kid. We can’t watch Hall­mark com­mer­cials without tea­ring up. Anything invol­ving a proud parent and child, makes us sob. But the thought of loo­sing our chil­dren is the worst fear ima­gi­na­ble. I copied the ten tips that Date­line NBC pos­ted on their site to help keep your kids safe. They are below.

All are impor­tant, and I encou­rage you to read through each tip. But the one that really struck me as super impor­tant is the one on role pla­ying. I know, from my expe­rien­ces as a teacher, how very impor­tant role pla­ying is. Good luck, and be safe!

10 safety tips every parent should know

1. The key is com­mu­ni­ca­tion. It is impor­tant to talk openly with your chil­dren about all safety issues, inc­lu­ding what to do in a poten­tial abduc­tion situation.
2. Know­ledge is power: Talk to your chil­dren about the rules per­tai­ning to stran­gers. Let them know a stran­ger or pre­da­tor looks just like any other per­son and will use any num­ber of ways to lure a child. Remem­ber, the vast num­ber of chil­dren who are vic­ti­mi­zed know their assailants.
3. Know the com­mon pre­da­tor lures: pre­ten­ding to look for a lost pet; asking the child for direc­tions; giving or pro­mi­sing candy and/or money if the child will go to their car; and, threa­te­ning to hurt family mem­bers if the child does not comply. When your child hears this, know that it’s time to run!
4. Never label clothing, back­packs, or other per­so­nal items such as jewelry with your child’s name. A pre­da­tor will use this infor­ma­tion to try to gain your child’s trust. (Place the label inside the object and/or use the child’s ini­tials or some design for easy identification.)
5. Give your chil­dren ins­truc­tions on what to do if they get sepa­ra­ted from you in a mall, super­mar­ket or any other public place. Tell them to first find a mother with chil­dren or any woman and let them know they are lost. Also they can go to a check-out coun­ter, infor­ma­tion desk, or approach a police officer.
6. Make sure that your child knows his or her full name, address, and phone num­ber and the phone num­ber for the place where you work or how to con­tact you. They also need to know how to dial 911, make collect calls, and dial the ope­ra­tor on a pay phone.
7. Know where your chil­dren are at all times, and keep a list of their friend’s names, addres­ses and phone num­bers and remem­ber to update your children’s records inc­lu­ding a photo every 6–12 months. Be aware of over­night par­ties unless you per­so­nally know and trust the teens and adults living and having access to that home.
8. Trust your own ins­tincts— if you don’t feel good about a per­son, keep your child away from that person.
9. Prac­tice, prac­tice, prac­tice: Going over this infor­ma­tion once with your chil­dren is not enough! You need to con­ti­nue to rehearse and “role play” to make the lear­ning per­ma­nent so your child can react pro­perly when under pressure.
10. If your child is mis­sing, try not to panic. First, check everywhere in the house, then check with your neigh­bors and your child’s friends. If you still can­not locate them, call the police imme­dia­tely. Remem­ber, there is no wai­ting period requi­red to report a mis­sing child to the police.

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