Potty Humor


I often wonder if I’m alone, different, suck in a secret reality TV show.  I mean, really, how many kids can be so interested by their private areas to make up songs about them, regularly?!

My daughter does.

In the car going over a bumpy road: My ba-gina is ti-i-i-i-ckling meee meee mee eeeee!

Sitting with a glass of water between her legs:  Ohh, ohh, ohh it is cold, cold, cold.  My ba-gin-a is cold, cold, cold.

And that’s only my daughter.  Let’s not even talk about all the new things my son has learned about himself….

Son:  giggle giggle, look Mom, my wiener (new favorite word) is sticking out of my undies!!  That’s funny!!

Yes, Son, that’s funny.

Not.

As I may have casually mentioned yesterday, my daughter is out of diapers. Ohh hahaha whot wehew!

Excuse me while I regroup.

OK, I’m good.

So as I was saying. Diapers are soo yesterday. Big girl panties, are in the now.

eClaire began her potty training journey just before the flu from hell hit our house and all but disabled her for nearly two weeks. During that time eClaire didn’t have energy to sit up, let alone try to potty on the toilet. And let’s not talk about the effects that flu had on her bowels…. Yes. Let’s just say that we skipped pull ups all together and went straight back to diapers.

Square one, again.

Once she healed from the flu, we were ready to being our diaper free journey again. Key word in the last sentence, we. As in Hubs and me. We, as in NOT eClaire. She was at the point where she still cried every time she tooted, (that’s lingo for gas in our house).

Now let’s just say that my dear daughter has a remarkable stubborn streak. I have no idea where she gets it from. coughHUBBYcough It couldn’t possibly me! No!! I’m so willing to bend. coughNOTcough

Since we required she wear undies during the daytime, she decided to stop pooping. Like for four days. Oh my goodness, you should have seen the size of her belly. And you can thank the Lord that you weren’t around to experience her whiny, crying outbursts during those days. She was un-com-fort-able! Oy, that belly!!

On a side note, it’s incredible how that child of mine can hold her pee ALL DAY LONG and only pee in her pullup during the night. INcredIBLE. But I digress…

So come nap time I inform ask eClaire that she would if she would be going go potty on the toilet before we put her pull ups on.

And then the hysterical tantrum began. Since I’m not one to back down from a tantrum, I thought Game On what a learning moment. Today I will BREAK HER eClaire will have the opportunity to potty on the toilet!! She will become Potty Trained TODAY.

But…I got weak in the knees. I couldn’t do it. I needed reinforcements.

Hubby came to the rescue.

He implemented Operation Potty Tantrum.

Hubby went into the bathroom and sat on the floor reading his magazine all the while totally ignoring eClaire with the occasional, “Sit down honey. You can get up once you’ve gone potty.”

A.N.G.R.Y SCREAM. MAD MAD TANTRUM A.N.G.R.Y SCREAM.

For like 15 minutes Hubby sat on that ground ignoring her tantrum, like the amazingly Supernanny-trained husband that he is, as I paced outside the door, pull up in hand and screaming “UNCLE!!”.

“It’s OK Honey. You can get up as soon as you pee.” (Remember, she hasn’t pooped in FOUR DAYS)

“AHHHHHHHHHH WAAAA BLAAAA Grunt, Grunt, Grunt WAAAAA BLAAAA AHHHH”

“Daddy, I just pooped! WAAAAA!!”

“Great job honey, now go potty.” Hubby sat there for a few more moments until eClaire reluctantly went potty, got her off the toilet and praised the bajeezus out of her. We all did the super happy (patented) Smiling Family Potty Dance* and sent her off to nap.

And that, my friends, is how eClaire became potty trained.

From that moment on eClaire has happily gone to the bathroom on her own accord.

I am diaper-free and filled with glee!

Operation Potty Tantrum complete, thanks to Hubby

*No, there will not be a video clip included!

And….now you don’t.

Um, ya. Did you notice that?? NO CHANGING PAD!!! And the DIAPER BAG is GONE!!!

Time’s a changing in the Smiling household folks. Times a changing!!

Hey, keep your voices low! Don’t let her know that I’m talking about this!

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To say I’m superstitious would be a very fair assessment of the situation. Lower your voices everyone.

Ready?

eClaire is beginning to go potty in the toilet.

Seriously.

When’s her second birthday? Oh ya, mid January!

Every night eClaire asks to go potty before I put her in her jammies. So lately I’ve been putting her on the toilet. She’s been giving a few potty drips a day which warranted the crazy mom and family dance around the house and a special sugary treat.

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But last night when eClaire asked to go potty, my dear daughter let loose and peed, I mean really peed.

Smiling Mom was thrilled!

And then, as if it couldn’t get better, this morning eClaire stood up and said, “I go potty!”

I took off her jammies and diaper. She ran to the bathroom, hopped on the toilet AND WENT POTTY!! A LOT OF POTTY!

Ok, I’m whispering again, I just got very excited!

Smiling Mom did her obnoxious, “eClaire went pooottttyyy” dance and dished out the goods.

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Is this the beginning of the end of diapers for me??? weeeeehhhhheeeee!!

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