So, we’ve resorted to buying a nasty tasting nail polish for our daughter.  She just won’t stop sucking her thumb.  Don’t judge me. I tried, I mean really tried to do this using only intrinsic, and sometimes extrinsic motivation.  We’ve tried band aids on the thumbs… We’ve tried dolls, with strings attached.  We’ve tried talking to her about being a ‘big girl’.  To read more head on over!

The Placebo Effect

What the frick??  Seriously?

My solution?  I took his pajama bottoms, looped my finger under the fabric and wiped his butt.  I know, classy!

Unfortunately it was still tickling, so I told him to go into the bathroom and wipe again.  BC then informs me that it’s my fault that his butt was tickling because I didn’t wipe him good enough earlier.

My fault?  That my 4 year old’s butt was tickling??

Again…what the frick??

Once the problem was solved he ran back out to the living room to drop trough and show me his newly cleaned butt.  At this point I was simply laughing too hard to check it again.

Seriously, this was not in the handout when I decided to forgo birth control and become a mother!

I did not sign up for the ‘butthole check’!!!

I like to pat my own back, toot my own horn, if you will, on occasion.  I generally think I’m gifted in the mothering category.  I got skills!  Or so I tell myself.

But just as I find myself getting cocky again, my dear children smack me down and throw off my equilibrium.  I quickly re-realize how many skills I still need to grow.

Take for example my four year old’s separation anxiety gone haywire.  A veteran mom has her set of tools, a solid bedtime routine, a vision of parenting that goes something like; start as you want to continue. We have routines.  We don’t vary far from the script.  My son knows what to expect.  Life trots along according to plan until *bam* I’m smacked in the face with a severe case of separation anxiety. Him, not me.

Wha…wha…what??  Um, excuse me, that’s not in my script.

This week I reached my breaking point.  I needed help.  Nothing I or my husband did helped calm or sooth BC’s nighttime/transitional fears. NOTHING.

In addition, hearing, “Mama” (A word I despise from the get go, I’m Mommy, thank you very much!) “I need you!” in the same tone and pitch repeated in the same rhythm for two straight hours is akin to Chinese water torture to me.  PAINFUL.

Earplugs didn’t even help.

I cried uncle and finally called the advice nurse Saturday night.  I was at a loss.  No great plan, no big picture, I was stuck.  I was called this morning and BC was scheduled an appointment with his pediatrician for 1:30 today.

I had a plan.  Relief was on the way.

At 1:30 I packed up my tired daughter and my hooky-playing son and headed off to see my lifeline, the doctor.  His doctor.  A woman, who I hoped, would realize that I’m a mom who doesn’t overreact or freak out over small issues.  That my concern was HUGE and WORTH her time.

1:30, I show up, exhausted and seeking help only to find out that I have an appointment scheduled with ANOTHER doctor, one with a reputation for a BAD bedside manner.

How could this happen? I exclaimed, I specifically said MY doctor.  My eyes welled up with tears.

No relief today. I left empty handed, with an appointment at the end of the week.  It was time to prepare myself for anther 2 hour kicking, screaming, scratching all out hysterical meltdown.

No relief.

After a good cry and a shower, I decided to pull up my boot straps and try again.

I formulated a temporary plan and did something different.  Instead of telling BC that I would lay with him for 5 minutes (part of our old routine), I decided to let him dictate the amount of time I’d lay with him.

I gave away my control.  And if you know me, you know how monumental that act was.  I. am. in. control. damn. it.  But I gave it away.

And I’ll be damned if that little stinker didn’t send me out of his room after only TWO minutes, promising me he was ready to sleep calmly without torturing me for the next two hours.

Two Minutes.  I gave up control and the problem, tonight, was solved.

Days like today, I realize that I, in fact, don’t have all the answers.  If I just take the time to listen to my kids, maybe they’ve been SREAMING their needs to me the whole time.

Skill Learned, BC, skill learned.

Separation Anxiety

My friend Jamie sent me an email, God bless her, with the best suggestion I’ve heard in a long time on how to curtail BC’s increasingly defiant outbursts.

She said I should make him the Man of the House.

You see Hubby recently went back to work after a 7 1/2 month break due to a torn shoulder. This transition seemingly has really effected BC.  Jamie’s suggestion was to give BC the responsibility of being a helper, with a title, while Hubs was away at work.

Now if you’ve ever met my son, you know that he’s all about stepping up to the plate.  In an emergency, he’s the best person to have helping you, aside from my Husband.  So this whole idea of being the Man of the House completely appealed to BC.

Each night this week BC’s furrowed his brow and said, “Now Mommy, I’m the Man of the House, is there anything else you need?” and goes one to say, ” If I hear you say, “Ouch,” I’ll come out of my bedroom to help you.”

And each morning when BC encounters Hubby, BC reports, “Daddy, I was the Man of the House, and I did a great job last night!”

It’s beautiful.  And simple.  And OH SO appreciated.

With this new found responsibility, BC’s like a new boy.  And me? I’m feeling so much better about our nightly routine.  I no longer dread putting my darlings down to bed.

So thank you Jamie!  You may begin charging me for you mothering services at anytime now.  I’ll be happy to pay top dollar!

The Man of the House

Thankfully when BC woke up this morning, he came running out of his room, smile on face, straight into my arms. Thank goodness children are so very resilient.

Hopefully BC’s getting close to the end of this new defiance phase and all can go back to normal in our house.

I wrote about our exchange over at SVMB today.

Growth as a parent

Ya, not fun.

eClaire got it bad yesterday with a temperature reaching 103 degrees.  BC’s had the temperature the day before eClaire’s.  So he’s better except for a nasty snotty nose and one hell of a cough.

Today started better than yesterday proved to be.  eClaire was a bit more herself.  She actually had a bit of food at breakfast!!  Yeay for food.  Apparently it does a body good… if only I could reason with a two year old… sigh.

But the day got progressively worse.  Both Hubby and I have been struggling with upset stomaches and mine came to a head this afternoon. And poor Hubby began his new work week tonight.  Did you catch that?

Tonight.

That’s right folks, my husband job has turned him nocturnal four out of every seven days.

Good times.

So when he woke up from his late afternoon nap, he was met with a hysterical wife, laying on the couch, a messy house, two kids who wanted attention, and mere hours until he was expected at work.

I went to bed, eClaire had horrible, horrible loose stools and required baths.  And through all of this, BC was extremely helpful.  Thank God for small gifts!

It’s now the middle of the night and between Hubby and me, we’ve cleaned up no less than 6 disgusting diapers, one throw up, and a messy house.

My kids were fed breakfast at 7:00, snack around 10:00, a sandwich at 4:00 (oops, momma forgot lunch!) and no dinner.  Ya, forgot that one too.

BC got a, “Sorry honey I forgot to feed you,” yogurt at 8:45 tonight.

Parenting at it’s best.

So now I’m off to sleep in eClaire and BC’s room, BC is sleeping in my room because he has no sign of flu symptoms yet… and Hubby will crawl into our bed as the sun rises, to sleep the day away and attempt to recover himself.

Parenting.…sigh.

The Frackin’ Flu

Regular sour cream??  They’ve never heard of such a thing! Whole fat Mayonnaise?  Naa, we go with fat free! If it’s made nonfat, I buy it.  (Except for cream cheese.  Fat free cream cheese is just disgusting. So I get the 1/3 fat.  A girl’s gotta have her limits!)

Anyways, Last year I’d become pretty tired of staring at the fridge and trying to figure out what I could make for dinner, sighing, and pulling out a packet of Mac & Cheese or those cute frozen dinosaur chicken nuggets from CostCo.  I was so. over. it.

Since I was just exiting my ugly years.…you know which ones I’m talking about, pregnancy, birth, nursing OMG did I even brush my teeth today??!! years, saying Bye Bye Boobie and gaining my sanity and self back.  I decided that I need to take control of my family’s dinnertime chaos.

So I began meal planning.  Insert choir music and angelic voices here. Oh how life has changed.  Once a week I sit down, browse allrecipes.com figure out what meals I’ll be making for the week and write my grocery list accordingly.  I don’t buy pre-packeged dinners ever anymore.  And I rarely fret about what’s for dinner.

You know the greatest thing?  I save bucket of money.  BUCKETS I tell you!!  I don’t buy bags of chips, crackers, or any other snacky foods anymore–with one exception, NutriGrain Bars (Which I keep in the van for those hunger emergencies!)

For snacks my kids often get fruit, string cheese, or low fat yogurt.  I don’t buy high sugar snacks or anything that claims it’s fruit flavored.  They get two snacks, one at 10 a.m. and one after nap.

That’s it.

In addition this Christmas my brother handed over his amazing juicer which I use almost every morning.  I make a full mixture of some or all the following ingredients:

apple, carrot, cucumber, celery, orange, broccoli

And my family drinks it.  eClaire, BC and Hubby ALL drink it.  Hehe, I’m totally getting my kids to DRINK their veggies. More impressive, I’ve somehow managed to hoodwink Hubby into drinking his!!  he he.

Lately Hubby and I’ve been taking it up a level.  Buying organic.  Not everything, but lots of stuff.  We got to our local farmer’s market most Sundays to stock up on our weekly veggies, jam, and honey.  We always choose organic when offered a choice.  And recently I’ve all but changed my household cleaners over to all natural products.

And I feel good.

Sure we still go on an occasional fast food run.  But I try to keep it to In & Out, and NOT McD’s.

And best of all I feel like by teaching my kids healthy eating habits now, I’m hopefully combating a whole slew of health problems down the road, most importantly, childhood obesity.

And that my friends, is recently what I’m most proud of doing right for my family.

****I just looked over to my right and realized that I have a CostCo sized bag of peanut M&M’s open and partly eaten…  I’m SOOO not perfect.  Excuse me while go do some emotional eating as I ponder this…

Healthy Living

I am a public school teacher and I work in one of strongest academic districts in the Bay Area. The school I teach at routinely ranks in the top five in California. It’s that good!

My school is also a ‘choice’ school, meaning that it is students come from all over the school district. You have to choose to send your kids there. Therefore school admission is based on a lottery. When a child’s number is called a parent almost always pulls their child out of their current private or public school to enter ours.

I know what great teaching is all about. I’ve seen both sides, the good school environment and the bad.

This is the best.

So why am I fretting about school?

Simple. I don’t live in the school district in which I teach.

Teachers can’t afford to buy a house there.

I have two children. My oldest will enter kindergarten a year from September and he cannot go to the my school.

Kinda stinks, doesn’t it?

Often one of the benefits that many school districts offer their teachers is automatic admission for their children. On top of it being very convenient for us, it also ensures the district that we teachers stay put for the duration of our children’s schooling careers. Teacher retention is quite a problem in Silicon Valley. It’s a win win.

But since my school is a choice school, my own children don’t even have an option of attending.

So I fret.

I’ve seen great. I teach at great. I want great for my kids.

The school district in which I live is alright. It’s neither great nor bad. My kids will probably do fine while attending school in this district. But then I think, Is alright good enough for my children?

No.

My husband and I have discussed private education, moving, public schools, private schools again.… But truth be told, two public servants living in Silicon Valley simply cannot afford a mortgage and one private school tuition, let alone two tuitions as my daughter enters school.

So we’re stuck. Private school costs too much, while public school just might not be great enough.

When it comes down to it, I’m just as confused as the next mom trying to do her best by her kids.

Any suggestions?

Originally posted at Silicon Valley Moms Blog

A Teacher Fretting About School

Sooo… let’s talk about me!!

Check out what I did!!

No seriously, I did that!!

Dora! That’s right! Me!

I’m no Casey, who is A.MAZ.ING, but hot damn. I’m pretty proud of my first attempt at being Baker Extraordinaire!

Shh, don’t tell anyone, but it was actually quite easy. I Google searched for a Dora the Explorer cake template and found that NickJr. actually has step by step directions. Oh, I was quite excited.

Martha Stewart here I come!

Dora Pride

I’ve gotten good at serving vegetables as the ‘first course’ and the ‘yummy’ food as second course.

For instance, eClaire is a huge fan of mashed potatoes. Huge. And she’s actually a pretty good eater. But, if given the option between say… zucchini and mashed potatoes, she’ll take the mashed potatoes and nothing else.

So, my kids need to eat a few pieces of veggies and if they can swallow stomach it, then they can eat the rest of the meal.

Easy right?

Usually, yes.

Today? No.

BC, my picky one, for some reason unbeknownst to me, decided to pile on the zucchini tonight. He took a ton and ate it all! (I was feeling proud. )

eClaire, who will eat anything and everything, shoved the zucchini in her mouth.

Yeay! Mom-1, Kids-suckka!!

A few minutes later I noticed eClaire was gagging on her mashed potatoes.

Strange.

Turns out, she still had about six mashed up zucchini in her mouth.

And the stand off began.

SM: eClaire, you need to swallow the zucchini.

eClaire: (sticking the zucchini out of her mouth)

SM: NO!! Make your mouth empty. You need to swallow your food!

tweet tweet tweet

Nothing.

SM: If you don’t swallow the food, you WILL get a time out.

Nothing.

eClaire was sent time out.

And her food sat in her mouth

And sat.

And sat.

SM: You can get off when you swallow that zucchini.

She sat.

And sat.

Finally, like after 10 minutes, I brought her back to the table.

I tried multiple strategies at this point to *make* her swallow that damned zucchini.

1. You can have a cookie when you finish.

2. You can eat your mashed potatoes when done.

3. EAT YOUR ZUCCHINI

4. Here’s a cookie Daddy and BC. Eat it at the table in front of you sister!!

5. Shove it down her throat with my finger.

oh yes I did. In hindsight, I realize this might not have been a great idea and it certainly wouldn’t win me an award for Mother of the Year.

6. Spit it out and eat it again. (it just sat in her mouth, shocker!!)

7. Spit it out on mom’s finger, Mom mixes it together in the mashed potatoes and lets eClaire eat the mashed potatoes laced with regurgitated zucchini.

This one, my friends, worked.

Mom 2 eClaire 0

Or was it eClaire 2 and Mom 0?

Hmm. Did I just loose that one?

The Great Zucchini Standoff.