Smiling Mom

I often wonder if I’m alone, different, suck in a secret reality TV show.  I mean, really, how many kids can be so interested by their private areas to make up songs about them, regularly?!

My daughter does.

In the car going over a bumpy road: My ba-gina is ti-i-i-i-ckling meee meee mee eeeee!

Sitting with a glass of water between her legs:  Ohh, ohh, ohh it is cold, cold, cold.  My ba-gin-a is cold, cold, cold.

And that’s only my daughter.  Let’s not even talk about all the new things my son has learned about himself….

Son:  giggle giggle, look Mom, my wiener (new favorite word) is sticking out of my undies!!  That’s funny!!

Yes, Son, that’s funny.

Not.

As I may have casually mentioned yesterday, my daughter is out of diapers. Ohh hahaha whot wehew!

Excuse me while I regroup.

OK, I’m good.

So as I was saying. Diapers are soo yesterday. Big girl panties, are in the now.

eClaire began her potty training journey just before the flu from hell hit our house and all but disabled her for nearly two weeks. During that time eClaire didn’t have energy to sit up, let alone try to potty on the toilet. And let’s not talk about the effects that flu had on her bowels…. Yes. Let’s just say that we skipped pull ups all together and went straight back to diapers.

Square one, again.

Once she healed from the flu, we were ready to being our diaper free journey again. Key word in the last sentence, we. As in Hubs and me. We, as in NOT eClaire. She was at the point where she still cried every time she tooted, (that’s lingo for gas in our house).

Now let’s just say that my dear daughter has a remarkable stubborn streak. I have no idea where she gets it from. coughHUBBYcough It couldn’t possibly me! No!! I’m so willing to bend. coughNOTcough

Since we required she wear undies during the daytime, she decided to stop pooping. Like for four days. Oh my goodness, you should have seen the size of her belly. And you can thank the Lord that you weren’t around to experience her whiny, crying outbursts during those days. She was un-com-fort-able! Oy, that belly!!

On a side note, it’s incredible how that child of mine can hold her pee ALL DAY LONG and only pee in her pullup during the night. INcredIBLE. But I digress…

So come nap time I inform ask eClaire that she would if she would be going go potty on the toilet before we put her pull ups on.

And then the hysterical tantrum began. Since I’m not one to back down from a tantrum, I thought Game On what a learning moment. Today I will BREAK HER eClaire will have the opportunity to potty on the toilet!! She will become Potty Trained TODAY.

But…I got weak in the knees. I couldn’t do it. I needed reinforcements.

Hubby came to the rescue.

He implemented Operation Potty Tantrum.

Hubby went into the bathroom and sat on the floor reading his magazine all the while totally ignoring eClaire with the occasional, “Sit down honey. You can get up once you’ve gone potty.”

A.N.G.R.Y SCREAM. MAD MAD TANTRUM A.N.G.R.Y SCREAM.

For like 15 minutes Hubby sat on that ground ignoring her tantrum, like the amazingly Supernanny-trained husband that he is, as I paced outside the door, pull up in hand and screaming “UNCLE!!”.

“It’s OK Honey. You can get up as soon as you pee.” (Remember, she hasn’t pooped in FOUR DAYS)

“AHHHHHHHHHH WAAAA BLAAAA Grunt, Grunt, Grunt WAAAAA BLAAAA AHHHH”

“Daddy, I just pooped! WAAAAA!!”

“Great job honey, now go potty.” Hubby sat there for a few more moments until eClaire reluctantly went potty, got her off the toilet and praised the bajeezus out of her. We all did the super happy (patented) Smiling Family Potty Dance* and sent her off to nap.

And that, my friends, is how eClaire became potty trained.

From that moment on eClaire has happily gone to the bathroom on her own accord.

I am diaper-free and filled with glee!

Operation Potty Tantrum complete, thanks to Hubby

*No, there will not be a video clip included!

And….now you don’t.

Um, ya. Did you notice that?? NO CHANGING PAD!!! And the DIAPER BAG is GONE!!!

Time’s a changing in the Smiling household folks. Times a changing!!

OK, first of all this whole incident started with a voice booming from our back room, “No way!! BC You CANNOT wear that!!”

I say, “Hub, I usually let BC dress himself.”

“Uh, Nette? He ’s wearing tights.”

At that exact moment I was taking a sip of my tea.

My tea ended up all over my end table. Hub and I laughed until I almost peed. Then I asked BC to pose for a picture.

This is what I saw:

Just as I snorted, it’s the German in me-my mom says, eClaire pushed BC out of the way to say, “Ohh look at me, I’m sooooo cute.”

BC then eeked his way back into the picture to show me his HUGE muscles. And his tights. For the record, those “tights” are just long socks pulled up above his knees. His favorite way to wear them is with a pair of shorts and his Lightning McQueen Water Shoes… Zexy, I know!

Then eClaire is all, “Oh but I’m not just cute. I’m funny too! Look! Look! I’m FUNNY, Damn IT.” Well, she might not have said Damn It today.

And then she was all, “BC touched me!! He looked at me sideways, and I don’t like him.”  I rolled my eyes.

And she was like, “DON’T LOOK AT ME BC!! You ruined my life!! Why did you have to be such a pain in the butt brother!!???” Ahem…. excuse me. I may be channeling my own sibling angst here… I digress. Hi Uncle J… love you!

And then BC’s all, “OH NO SHE DIN’T”

And then eClaire decided she had enough, “MOMMY!!!! Waaaaa! Why are you laughing?? It’s NOT FUNNY!”

Aaaand Scene.
On a more positive note, when BC was asked to get a sweatshirt because it was still a bit chilly outside, he ran into his closet to get his favorite sweater.

Ya.

Bwhaahaahaa!! A future in fashion? I think not. Hey, at least he pulled his socks down, at Dad’s request!